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Season 3 E 2 • 12/07/2011

Victoria is invited to speak on an A-list gay cruise and brings Melanie, Joy and Elka with her. Guest Stars: Sandra Bernhard, Laura San Giacomo

Watching

Three best friends from Los Angeles discover they are 'hot' in Cleveland. Guest Star: John Schneider

Joy's new date ends up exposing an old secret.

The ladies set each other up on blind dates, with mixed results. Guest Stars: Carl Reiner

The Sex That Got Away

The ladies attend a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event, where Victoria reunites with an old musician flame. Guest Stars: Huey Lewis

Melanie throws a party, and in the process makes the wrong impression on one of her neighbors. Guest Stars: Wayne Knight, Carl Reiner

When Melanie's mother and Victoria's father come for a visit on the same weekend, the ladies are forced to confront old patterns.

It's Not That Complicated

Elka must decide between two senior suitors; Melanie's ex comes to woo her. Guest Stars: Carl Reiner, Tim Conway

When Victoria volunteers with a local high school play, the students wind up doing her version of "Romeo and Juliet."

Good Luck Faking the Goiter

During a visit from Melanie's secretive son, she invades his privacy and learns a little too much about him. Guest Stars: Joe Jonas, Dave Foley.

When a tornado threatens to hit Cleveland, the ladies find way more than just shelter in Elka's secret storm cellar. Guest Stars: Susan Lucci

Elka reunites with an old friend as the ladies struggle to raise bail money. Guest Stars: Mary Tyler Moore, Wayne Knight

When Melanie meets her boyfriend's family, she finds two big obstacles -- his mother and brother. Guest Stars: Bonnie Franklin, Wayne Knight, John Schneider

The ladies compete for the affection of Elka's attractive new lawyer; Elka gets more bad news. Guest Stars: Sherri Shepherd, Carl Reiner

Sisterhood of the Traveling SPANX®

A pair of 'magic SPANX' come into the ladies' lives and leads them to unexpected adventures. Guest Stars: Jack Wagner, Melanie Griffith

The ladies return to L.A for the first since moving to Cleveland for Victoria's All My Children appearance; Melanie sells her house. Guest Stars: Susan Lucci, Jimmy Kimmel, Peri Gilpin

The ladies' L.A adventures continue, and Elka's quest for the movie star of her dreams results in a surprise meeting. Guest Stars: Susan Lucci

Dog Tricks, Sex Flicks & Joy's Fix

Joy meets a wonderful guy in the waiting room of her therapist; Elka trains a rescue dog; Victoria makes a sex tape.

Melanie dates a basketball coach for the Cavaliers who still isn't over LeBron James leaving Cleveland. Guest Stars: Jon Lovitz

Elka tries to convince Max, who is pining to fly to Florida, that she can keep him warm in the cold Cleveland winter. Guest Stars: Carl Reiner

Elka's trial has come at last, and her fate will be decided. What will the verdict be? Guest Stars: Sherri Shepherd, Amy Sedaris

Elka's on the lam and the women go looking for her in Amish country. Guest Stars: Amy Sedaris, George Wendt

The son that Joy gave up for adoption stops by for a surprise visit.

Unseparated at Birthdates

In this birthdates episode: Elka plays dumb to land a rich bachelor, Melanie's date is holier than thou, Joy only likes hers when he's not himself and Victoria gets double what she bargained for. Guest Star: John Mahoney

Melanie decides to form a band with her friends and compete in a local Battle of the Bands for her new column for Woman's Day. Guest Stars: Wayne Knight

When Melanie suspects Joy might be using drugs, she recruits neighbor Rick (Wayne Knight) to help her find out. Guest Stars: Wayne Knight

The ladies decide to go dancing to burn off the Cleveland pounds but need local gay best friends to go with. Guest Stars: Doris Roberts, Antonio Sabato, Jr.

Victoria's daughter, Emmy, visits and Victoria enlists Elka, and her Irish accent, to convince Emmy not to publish a tell-all book about her childhood. Guest Stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Victoria and Joy hatch a plan to get revenge on prankster Colin Cooper, Victoria's smooth-talking nemesis and co-anchor at Chanel 7.

Highlights featuring the funniest and memorable moments from this season.

Melanie writes a column for Woman's Day Magazine that asks the question, 'Can Women Have Sex With No Strings?' Guest Stars: Huey Lewis

Elka and her fiance Fred meet with Reverend Boyce to plan their simple wedding ceremony. Guest Stars: Cedric the Entertainer

Elka's Wedding Part 1

It's Elka's wedding day but Melanie, Joy, and Victoria wake up with no recollection of Elka's bachelorette party the night before. Guest Stars: Carl Reiner, Don Rickles

After her allegedly dead husband Bobby interrupts her wedding, Elka must choose between him, Max & Fred. Guest Stars: Don Rickles, Kathie Lee Gifford

Victoria is invited to speak on an A-list gay cruise and brings Melanie, Joy and Elka with her. Guest Stars: Sandra Bernhard, Laura San Giacomo

When the dry cleaners lose Melanie’s favorite dress, Elka takes them funeral crashing to track it down. Guest Stars: John Mahoney

Melanie, Joy, and Victoria give their Cleveland neighbors a makeover while Elka tries to keep up with the fast-paced life involved in dating a younger man. Guest Stars: John Mahoney

One Thing Or A Mother

The ladies throw a dinner party to remedy their unfortunate date dilemmas. Guest Stars: John Mahoney, Sean Hayes

How Did You Guys Meet, Anyway?

Melanie, Joy, and Victoria tell Elka the story of how they met in Los Angeles in the ‘80s.

Two Girls and a Rhino

When Joy and Elka learn that their combined scents is an aphrodisiac for the nearly extinct Black Rhinos, they’re forced to live together at the Cleveland zoo until the species is saved. Guest Stars: Doug Savant

On Elka’s (and Betty White’s) 90th birthday, Melanie takes her to the Browns locker room and ends up dating the kicker.

Victoria’s daughter Emmy is back for a visit with some very surprising news – she’s engaged to Melanie’s son Will! Guest Stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Joe Jonas

Victoria’s arch nemesis Susan Lucci arrives looking for guidance now that All My Children has been cancelled. Guest Stars: Susan Lucci

When Johnny Revere records a benefit song in Cleveland, Victoria assumes they'll pick up where they left off. Guest Stars: Huey Lewis

Inspired by Valentine's Day, the ladies decide to track down their lost loves. Guest Stars: Steven Weber, Carl Reiner

The ladies escape to a lake house after Victoria sets loose a poisonous spider belonging to her ex-husband. Guest Stars: Steven Weber

Victoria, eager to win a Newsie Award, goes to Overeaters Anonymous disguised in a fat suit. Melanie meets a guy at a different "Anonymous" meeting.

When Melanie, Joy, and Victoria try to join a Cleveland country club, they discover that Elka has a long history with the club’s president, and he’s bent on revenge. Guest Stars: Ed Asner, Jon Lovitz

Everything Goes Better With Vampires

Joy dates a guy she thinks is her teen crush Rick Springfield, Victoria wants to fire the cleaning-averse housekeeper. Guest Stars: Rick Springfield, Rhea Pearlman, Georgia Engel

Claus, Tails & High-Pitched Males: Birthdates 3

The ladies celebrate their annual "birthdates".

Joy starts a whirlwind romance with George, a man short on time but big on life.

Bye George, I Think He's Got It!

Joy accepts her dying boyfriend's marriage proposal but has reservations. Guest Stars: Jon Lovitz, Joan Rivers

The girls have to get their friend back together with her Beverly Hills dermatologist boyfriend or they may never getting an appointment with him again. Guest Stars: Kristin Chenoweth

Go behind the scenes of "Hot in Cleveland" to discover never-before-seen footage of the cast and crew.

The ladies bid on an abandoned storage unit and unearth an item of potentially historical proportions which requires Artie Firestone's expertise. Guest Stars: Jon Lovitz

What's Behind the Door?

When Victoria wants to turn her cancelled soap opera into an app, she has to get the series creator on board. Guest Stars: Cybill Shepherd

When Melanie's hair blow out lasts unusually long, Joy and Victoria demand to know who's blowing her. Guest Stars: Regis Philbin, David Spade

That Changes Everything

A baby unexpectedly enters the ladies' lives. Meanwhile, an unhinged super-vixen offers Melanie a great job and Elka gets the 'upper hand' with her boyfriend, Pierre. Guest Stars: Heather Locklear, Regis Philbin

A Midwinter Night's Sex Comedy

Melanie's boss puts her in an awkward position with her attractive co-worker, while Joy is self-conscious about fitting in at college. Guest Stars: Heather Locklear

Victoria schemes to get to the bottom of her co-star's true intentions. Joy is still trying to fit in at college while Elka befriends the popular girls. Meanwhile, Melanie gets herself into a dishonest situation.

Melanie drives herself crazy wondering if Alec heard her confess her feelings for him. Guest Stars: Georgia Engel, Pat Harrington

A Box Full of Puppies

At the veterinarian's office, Elka tries to teach Mamie how to flirt and Joy is turned on by a hot fireman who walks in. Victoria's daughter interviews her about second acts in life. Guest Stars: Eddie Cibrian, Georgia Engel

Cleveland Fantasy Con

Melanie's embroiled in an office love triangle. Joy learns a tidbit about Sean that threatens her fireman fantasy. Victoria's insecurity leads her to extremes. Guest Stars: Heather Locklear, Eddie Cibrian, Georgia Engel

Joy's mom meets her new family members at Wilbur's christening. To avoid friction with her mom, Joy makes her son Owen pretend to be someone else. Elka touches up a church fresco. Victoria's incessant Emmet talk annoys Melanie.

Melanie seeks perfection but ends up "fake-porning" her first time with Alec. Joy meets a forbidden love interest on Victoria and Emmet's movie set. Elka and Mamie are bad influences on the baby. Guest star: Georgia Engel

Victoria has doubts about her relationship with Emmet when a woman from his past shows up. Melanie and Elka deal with an unwanted house guest. Joy falls for a handsome doctor who has just one flaw. Guest Stars: Heather Dubrow

Melanie sets Joy up with her boyfriend's friend, Bill. Elka takes over as Victoria's agent. Secrets and gossip circulate and come to a head at the ladies' monthly game night.

At a spa retreat, Joy tests her sleuthing skills on a suspicious Yogi. Victoria learns what being a responsible friend means. Mamie confronts Elka's bossiness. Melanie hallucinates while fasting. Guest Star: Georgia Engel

Victoria's movie is ending and she's unsure where that leaves her relationship with Emmet. Melanie wonders where her relationship with Alec is going. Joy uncovers something mysterious about Elka. Guest stars:Dave Foley

When Elka and Mamie's illegal business activities put them all in danger, the ladies step in to save the day and end up getting help from a local mobster and his mother. Guest Stars: Georgia Engel, Shirley Jones, William Shatner

Victoria's sister tricks her into coming home for a visit. She and the ladies find her mother Penny in an alarming state. Joy and Melanie re-visit the '70s. Elka gives Penny advice. Guest Stars: Jean Smart, Carol Burnett

Between Victoria's five marriages and Emmet's four, Emmet enlists the ladies' help in finding a surprising way to propose, but Victoria is not the only one in for a surprise.

Victoria acts as a spokesmodel and inadvertently commits to a very generous donation on national TV. Joy works with private investigator, Bob, and reunites with hot Brony fireman, Sean. Guest Stars: Eddie Cibrian, Dave Foley

The ladies try to make Wilbur's first birthday memorable and Melanie and Alec contemplate what it would be like to have a family together.

Melanie rebounds with the unsavory Danny but is soon juggling two men, including blast from the past: Dr. Everett. Victoria hires a shady lawyer for Emmet. Joy and Elka compete in film class.Guest Stars: Tom Arnold, Jack Wagner

The ladies are surprised by a special guest and begin to reminisce about their favorite moments and bloopers from Season 4. Guest Star: Kirstie Alley

Lying to Cleveland's top pediatrician leads Joy to host a traditional Indian dinner party. When Victoria's wedding planner arrives, the stage is set for a classic farce--appropriate as Elka auditions for a play.

Melanie gets her dream engagement ring, but not how she expected. Joy deals with strange family issues. Victoria tests a product from Mrs. Ladypants. Elka and Mamie test jokes for a Senior Center roast. Guest Star: Georgia Engel

In the hospital instead of celebrating her bachelorette, Victoria calls her ex-husbands to learn how things went wrong. Joy and Melanie fantasize over coma guy. Elka and Mamie bring Vegas to Cleveland. Guest Star: Georgia Engel

Elka and Mamie reunite their bowling team. Joy, Victoria & Melanie date a professor, director & surgeon. Guest Stars: Georgia Engel, Mary Tyler Moore, Cloris Leachman, Valerie Harper, George Hamilton, Jesse Tyler Ferguson

The Man That Got Away

It's the big day of Victoria's wedding to incarcerated movie star Emmet Lawson. Elka helps Joy reunite with her baby daddy, who she hasn't seen in thirty two years. Guest Stars: Craig Ferguson

After Victoria's husband escapes prison, she and the other women go to a hideout that Elka knows. Upon arrival, they discover the hideout is double-booked with other criminals. Guest Stars: Dave Foley, Alex Trebek, Ken Jeong

Since Victoria's husband's disappearance, the women have been monitored closely by an FBI agent. Melanie tells Alec that she's pregnant and Joy discovers she's now irresistible to men. Guest Stars: Jaime Pressly

Joy's baby daddy, Simon, meets his son and grandson for the first time as they pretend to be a happy family to get Wilbur into a prestigious pre-school. Melanie and Elka try to find the perfect doctor. Guest Star: Craig Ferguson

Elka throws a fake funeral for Victoria so she can join her husband in hiding. Her nemesis, Susan Lucci attends. Simon and Joy face a dilemma in their relationship. Guest Stars: Craig Ferguson, Susan Lucci

On the eve of Victoria's big movie premiere, Emmy visits with some surprising news while Elka announces she's taken a younger lover. Guest Stars: Dave Foley, Jennifer Love Hewitt

Rusty Banks Rides Again

Victoria asks her friends to convince Academy members to nominate her for an Oscar: Melanie's assigned a teen idol; Joy's given an indie darling; Elka reunites with Roy. Guest Stars: Jason Priestley, John Mahoney

The One With George Clooney

When the women try to adopt a puppy, the Rescue Center's volunteer, Doug, determines if they are dog-worthy. Elka's relationships with Mamie and Roy take an interesting turn. Guest Stars: Georgia Engel, John Mahoney

"Melanie uses her illness to get tickets to country star Chase Jackson's sold-out concert. Victoria starts an online romance but the object of her affection might not be the man he says he is. Guest Star: Chris Isaak.

The ladies take their depressed puppy, George Clooney, to Dr. Deb, a pet therapist who has her own radio show. Guest Stars: Cheri Oteri

Bucket: We're Going to New York

Victoria resolves to come clean about something to her longtime friend, Maddie Banks. Melanie, Joy, and Elka cross things off their bucket lists. Guest Stars: Kirstie Alley

Lines get blurred when Joy and Bob go undercover as a couple and Elka gets a political rival. Guest Stars: Dave Foley

I Just Met the Man I'm Going to Marry

The women fly to Los Angeles to watch Victoria announce the Oscar nominations and Elka gets campaign advice from a statistics expert. Guest Stars: Tim Daly

People Feeding People

Elka needs Ross Barkley's endorsement for City Council so Melanie gets strong-armed into going on a date with him. Guest Stars: Chevy Chase, Tim Daly

During a super storm, the ladies get stuck in the house with some unwanted guests: Victoria's island boyfriend, Melanie's downer friend and Joy's mother. Elka thinks the ghost of a murdered woman has come back, seeking revenge.

The ladies discover Elka's written and directed a play about them. They're shocked to see how they're portrayed and by whom - especially since Elka's role is performed by the glamorous Claudia. Guest Star: Morgan Fairchild.

Joy decides to finally tell Mitch how she feels but a handsome dating coach gets in the way. Victoria is surprisingly taken with a very Clevelandy screenwriter. Guest Stars: Tim Daly, Dan Lauria.

Straight Outta Cleveland

Victoria gets a visit from the son she always forgets and Joy and Mitch debate their compatibility. Guest stars: Tim Daly, Chris Colfer

Our ladies go 2-D in a fun-filled animated episode that involves questionable beauty treatments, zombies, and a look at Cleveland had LeBron never left. Guest Stars: Georgia Engel, Steven Tyler

Things heat up between Victoria and J.J. (Dan Lauria) and Melanie and Donald (Craig Bierko) during Elka’s City Council debate against Councilman Powell (Bill Bellamy). Guest stars: Queen Latifah, Dan Lauria, Craig Bierko, Bill Bellamy

Melanie feels replaced when the ladies go to her radio co-host (Will Sasso) for advice and Victoria meets J.J.’s (Dan Lauria) family. Guest stars: Dan Lauria, Will Sasso, Anita Barone, Nicole Parker, Gabriel Tigerman, Andrew Leeds

Mystery Date: Oscar Edition

When Victoria has to choose between Melanie and Joy for her plus one to the Oscars, they compete with each other to show who's the better friend. Guest star Perez Hilton

Tensions are high in Cleveland: Victoria is up for an Academy Award, Elka is up for City Council election, and Melanie gets a visit from her mother (Debra Monk). guest stars: Georgie Engel, Debra Monk

Just when Joy is happy in her relationship with Mitch, Simon (Craig Ferguson) sneaks back into her life. Meanwhile, Elka gets carried away with some new-found power. Guest star: Craig Ferguson

This "birthdates" episode has date-night suprises aplenty for Elka, Melanie and Victoria - and multiple marriage proposals for Joy. Guest Stars: Craig Ferguson, Dave Foley, Tim Daly, Carl Reiner, Luke Perry, Marion Ross

Joy decides whether to marry Mitch, Simon, or Bob. Victoria’s new CGI movie proves challenging in ways she didn’t expect. Elka tries to bring film jobs to Cleveland.

Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles

The ladies head to L.A. to meet Zed Simms, the creator of Victoria’s new TV show. Elka tries to convince Zed to move the production to Cleveland.

Inspirational coffee sleeves encourage the women to try new things. Joy helps Victoria create lifestyle videos for her website. Melanie tries to install shelves without Frankie’s help. Elka stirs up romance with Jim.

Elka throws a party to sway the vote of a rival politician. Melanie tries to find out if their cute neighbor, Jack, saw her naked. Victoria has no idea what her new TV show is about.

Joy and Bob take Victoria for a ride-along to prepare for her detective role. Elka and Melanie battle Agnes and Mona in a game competition at Stormi’s.

Melanie and Jack try to spice up their relationship. Victoria becomes the spokesperson for a new vodka brand. Joy’s new hairstyle backfires when she meets Owen’s office crush. Elka and Mayor Deacon have a scandalous affair.

Cold In Cleveland: The Christmas Episode

Mortified by an old Christmas movie she made, Victoria tries to get the rights from her ex-husband, Ernie Hudson. Melanie and Sally compete over decorations. Joy spends Christmas without her mother but finds an unlikely proxy. Guest stars: Ernie Hudson, Kelly Schumann, Lesley Nicol

The Young and the Restless

Melanie enlists Joy’s help to convince Jenna to go to medical school. Victoria obsesses over a nude scene for her new show. Elka takes “Councilman for the Day,” Lance, under her wing.

Melanie, feeling smothered by her boyfriend, Jack, enlists Frankie’s help to break off their relationship. Victoria’s dad, Alex, comes to town with a shocking announcement. Elka tries to fight off Alex’s advances.

Joy’s younger sister, Jill, comes to visit. Melanie helps Victoria write a children’s book. Elka and Mamie Sue welcome British royalty to Cleveland.

Joy sees Bob in a new light when he helps Joy’s grandson deal with the school bully. Elka inspires Melanie to reconnect with a woman from her past. Victoria tries to keep up with her younger boyfriend.

One Wedding and One Funeral

Joy competes with Canadian Joy for Bob’s affection. Elka enlists Melanie’s help when her affair with the mayor takes an unexpected turn. Victoria hires a bodyguard.

Joy and Bob lead a damage control team to cover up the mayor’s death. Melanie tries to keep a reporter from getting the story. Elka meets one of the mayor’s mistresses. Victoria confronts a woman who gave her show bad reviews.

The women take a DNA test and learn about their ancestries. Melanie pretends to be someone else when she meets a handsome relative. Victoria finds out she’s a Native American. Joy and Elka make a startling discovery.

Elka is convinced that Bob’s gift to Joy is a voodoo doll. Melanie accidentally doses her boyfriend, Dane (William Baldwin) with estrogen. Victoria gets a visit from her agent (Garry Marshall). Guest stars: Ray Abruzzo, William Baldwin,Garry Marshall

Melanie gets jealous when her boyfriend, Dane becomes Victoria’s love interest in a play. Joy makes Bob watch “Love Actually,” with unintended consequences. Elka goes on a political talk show.

The gang helps Joy’s son plan the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. An unexpected guest from Joy’s past shows up.

Cleveland Calendar Girls

Joy learns something new about Bob when they take engagement photos. Melanie goes on a date with herself. Victoria tries to get a new driver’s license photo. And Elka and Mamie pose nude for charity.

The gang buys Stormi’s. Melanie deals with a temperamental chef. Victoria tries to impress a restaurant critic. Joy meets the mother of the baby she wants to adopt. Elka goes on a date with The Pope.

Victoria directs her mother and son in a musical. Elka auditions for a part. Joy and Melanie try to fire a touchy-feely waiter.

Victoria and Melanie try to cope with Joy moving out. Bob does his best to impress Joy’s mother. Elka has difficulty breaking up with Victoria’s father.

Vegas Baby/I Hate Goodbyes

The gang travels to Las Vegas when Joy and Bob find out there’s a baby available for adoption. Elka helps Bob’s dad pick up women. Victoria reconnects with a long-lost love. Melanie ends up in jail. Then, Joy and Bob continue their adventure to pick up a baby available for adoption in Las Vegas. Victoria and Johnny Revere reflect on their past. Elka helps Bob’s dad find the perfect woman. Melanie works on her wedding toast.

06/03/2015