You Can't Be His Wife

  • Aired

Victoria (wendie Malick) questions her relationship when a woman from Emmet's (Alan Dale) past shows up.

FIVE YEARS AGO,

YOU TWO WERE ON THE COVEROF PEOPLE MAGAZINE

WITH A BIG TEARDOWN THE MIDDLE.

IT DOESN'T GET MORE DIVORCETHAN THAT.

- WE ARE DIVORCED,IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

EXCEPT...LEGALLY.

- WHAT?

- WE NEVER GOT AROUNDTO SIGNING THE PAPERS.

NIKKI, IF YOU'RE HERE,YOU MUST WANT SOMETHING.

- I DO.

YOU KNOWHOW I'VE BEEN TRYING

TO GET ON A REALITY SHOW?

WELL, I GOT A CALLFROM THE PRODUCERS

OF TRUE HOUSEWIVES OF TAMPA/ST. PETE.

- OOH.

OH, I LOVE T.H.O.T.S.P.

I MEAN, WHAT DOESTHAT MINDLESS TRASH

HAVE TO DO WITH US?

- THEY WANT ME ON THE SHOWAS EMMETT'S EX-WIFE.

- BUT TECHNICALLY,YOU'RE NOT HIS EX-WIFE.

- IS SHE ALWAYSTHIS LITERAL?

THAT MUST GET OLD.

ANYWAY,THEY'LL ONLY CAST ME

IF YOU AGREE TO DOTWO APPEARANCES

AND AN ANGRY PHONE CALLTHAT INTERRUPTS ME

HELPING STACY THROUGHHER BREAST IMPLANT EXPLOSION.

- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- YOU KNOWI'LL WEAR YOU DOWN.

- THAT MAY HAVE WORKEDWHEN WE WERE MARRIED,

BUT NOT ANY LONGER.

- TECHNICALLY,YOU ARE STILL MARRIED.

- OH, JEEZ.THIS ONE, LIKE A BROKEN RECORD.

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