Susan Lucci Gives a Speech

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Susan Lucci gives a speech during Victoria’s fake funeral

AND THANK YOU, VICTORIA,

FOR SO MANY, MANY, MANY

YEARS OF WORK.

RISING BEFORE DAWNTO PUT ON ALL THAT MAKEUP...

IN A BRAVE BUT FUTILE ATTEMPTTO HIDE THE RAVAGES OF TIME.

AND NOW, PICTURING HERIN A COFFIN

REMINDS MEOF THOSE PERFORMANCES.

STIFF AND LIFELESS,

HELD TOGETHER WITH CHEMICALSAND GLUE.

SOMETHING BEST BURIEDAND FORGOTTEN.

OH, VICTORIA.

I PROMISED MYSELFI WOULDN'T CRY,

AND I'VE KEPT THAT PROMISE.

THANK YOU.

[applause]

[all gasping]

WHAT?

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