Gilligan's Island: The Beauty Pageant

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The guys sponsor the girls in a beauty pageant.

THE FIRST CONTESTANT:MISS MARY ANN.

NOW, YOU JUST RELAX, DEAR,

AND YOU TELL US IN YOUR OWNSWEET, CHARMING, SIMPLE WAY

WHAT IT IS THAT YOUWANT MOST OUT OF LIFE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I WOULD LIKE A WORLDWITHOUT STRIFE,

UNIVERSAL HARMONY,INTERNATIONAL GOODWILL

WHERE THE...

SPIRIT OF BROTHERHOODENRICHES ALL OF MANKINDFOREVER. THANK YOU.

OH, HOW REVOLTING.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU,MARY ANN,

FOR THAT SINCERE, UNSELFISH,AND UNREHEARSED SPEECH.

THANK YOU, MY DEAR.PLEASE BE SEATED.

AND NOW FORCONTESTANT NUMBER 2--

[WHISTLES]

GINGER! COME ON!

WILL YOU WAIT, PLEASE,TILL I INTRODUCE HER?

I ALREADY KNOWGINGER.

COME ON, GINGER!GO!

ALRIGHT, THEN.MISS GINGER.

THANK YOU.

FIRST OF ALL,

I'D LIKE TO THANK ALLOF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE

FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE INTHIS WONDERFUL CONTEST.

IT REALLY ISA WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE,

AND IT MAKES A GIRLFEEL WONDERFUL.

WONDERFUL!

SECOND OF ALL,

I'D LIKE TO THANK ALLOF YOU MARVELOUS PEOPLE

FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE INTHIS MARVELOUS CONTEST.

IT REALLY ISA MARVELOUS EXPERIENCE,

AND IT MAKES A GIRLFEEL MARVELOUS.

MARVELOUS!MARVELOUS!

THIRDLY--THANK YOU VERYMUCH, GINGER.

I'M NOT FINISHED YET.

FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE INTHIS TERRIFIC CONTEST.

GINGER,YOUR TIME IS UP.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

TERRIFIC!TERRIFIC!

AND NOW FOR OURTHIRD CONTESTANT,

MRS. THURSTON HOWELL III.

Thurston:BRAVO! BRAVO!

BRAVO!

I'M NOT GOING TO MAKEAN UNREHEARSED SPEECH,

OR A SPEECHTHAT'S WONDERFUL,MARVELOUS, TERRIFIC.

I'M JUST GOING TO SAYTHANK YOU, JUDGE,

FOR BEING THE SONOF AN AMERICAN MOTHER.

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