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Time Show Episode
9:00am
Quiet Sam
Barney is suspicious that Mayberry's mysterious new farmer (William Schallert) is up to no good and growing marijuana.
TV-G
9:36am
Barney Gets His Man
An escaped convict vows revenge on Barney Fife, the man who sent him back to prison.
TV-G
10:12am
The Guitar Player Returns
Mayberry guitarist Jim Lindsey (James Best), a success as a solo artist, returns to a hero's welcome. However, Andy suspects trouble.
TV-G
10:48am
Bringing Up Opie
Aunt Bee, believing that the jailhouse environment is adversely affecting Opie, forbids the lad to spend time at the courthouse.
TV-G
11:24am
Opie and the Bully
A schoolboy bully makes life miserable for 7-year-old Opie.
TV-G
12:00pm
Amigo
Amigo is wounded while leaving a holdup with his gang, who have been terrorizing the territory with crime sprees. Ben is riding with the posse that is searching for the gang when he saves Amigo from the posse by taking him home.
TV-PG
1:00pm
Roots of Fear
A run on the Dodge City bank forces three desperate farmers to resort to robbery.
TV-G
2:00pm
The Sisters
A contemptible father pretends to have a change of heart when three nuns confront him with the care and custody of his two children.
TV-G
3:00pm
The Cage
When a young outlaw becomes the victim of his own gang, he decides to help Marshal Matt Dillon bring them in.
TV-G
4:00pm
The War Priest
Kitty, enroute from Owl Flats to Dodge City by buckboard, is kidnapped by Apache war priest, Gregorio, an escaped cavalry prisoner.
TV-G
5:09pm
Barney's Replacement
Barney believes that Andy is grooming a new man to replace him as deputy, so he tries his hand at vacuum cleaner sales.
TV-G
5:46pm
Andy and the Women Speeder
A stubborn but charming lady speeder makes life difficult for Andy.
TV-G
6:23pm
Mayberry Goes Bankrupt
Mayberrian Frank Myers (Andy Clyde) and the town council are shocked to learn that the township owes him nearly $350,000.
TV-G
7:00pm
Barney on the Rebound
A scheming young couple victimizes Barney after a tiff with Thelma Lou.
TV-G
7:36pm
Opie's Hobo Friend
Ne'er-do-well vagrant Dave Brown has a bad influence on Opie, but he sets things straight before leaving town. Guest Star: Buddy Ebsen
TV-G
8:12pm
Cookies
When Ray learns that Troop Leader Peggy and her daughter have targeted his parents' house as a spot to make a big sale for themselves during the Frontier Girls selling competition, its all-out war.
TV-PG
8:48pm
Lucky Suit
Robert is ecstatic when he is recommended for the FBI job.
TV-PG
9:24pm
The Skit
Thinking it would be hilarious to show the partygoers a typical day in the life of Frank and Marie, Ray and Debra do a dead-on impersonation of the two that brings down the house at the party.
TV-PG
10:00pm
Pilot Prototype
Comedian George Lopez stars as a L.A. manufacturing plant manager attempting to deal with a tumultuous job, a strong but challenging marriage, two rebellious children and a tough mother - all with his sense of humor intact.
TV-PG
10:30pm
Curious George
Comedian George Lopez stars as a L.A. manufacturing plant manager attempting to deal with a tumultuous job, a strong but challenging marriage, two rebellious children and a tough mother - all with his sense of humor intact.
TV-PG
11:00pm
Tank Heaven
Carrie wants to start hanging out with people from her office and Doug hates the idea. Danny and Spence realize that women like men who take care of elderly people, so they start using Arthur to get dates.
TV-PG
11:30pm
Alter Ego
Spence finds out his ex-girlfriend Denise is getting married and decides he has to stop it. He gets Doug, Deacon, and Danny to go with him on the long drive.
TV-PG
Tuesday, May 3
12:00am
Icky Shuffle
Carrie is sick and she was supposed to be Arthur's partner in a shuffleboard tournament. Doug ends up having to do it, but he is a terrible player.
TV-PG
12:30am
Awful Bigamy
Holly gets kicked out of her apartment leaving her with no place to live. Arthur offers to let her stay in the basement with him.
TV-PG
1:00am
I Love Woo, I Hate You
Barb insists that Christine join her on a date with Dave (recurring guest star JAMES LESURE - "For Your Love," "Las Vegas"), the immigration officer she has been seeing.
TV-PG
1:30am
Old Christine Meets Young Frankenstein
When Christine finds out Ritchie is the school bully, she decides to set a good example by making amends with the woman (AMY SEDARIS) she bullied as a kid.
TV-PG
2:00am
It's Beginning to Stink a Lot Like Christmas
Christine attends her neighborhood Christmas party where she learns a juicy secret about her neighbor. MOLLY SHANNON ("Saturday Night Live") guest stars.
TV-PG
2:38am
A Whale of a Tale
When Christine decides to tell her therapist she's in love with him, his response is not what she expected. Recurring guest star ERIC McCORMACK appears as Max, Christine's therapist.
TV-PG
3:16am
No Questions Asked
When Daphne sends a troubling text message to Lily, Marshall enlists the gang's help to remove the message while enforcing the "No Questions Asked" rule.
TV-14
3:54am
The Lighthouse
When Robin and Loretta's conflict escalates, Barney is caught in the middle. Meanwhile, Marshall and Daphne deal with a stowaway on their road trip, and Ted and Cassie try to enjoy a trip to a lighthouse.
TV-14
4:27am
Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles
The ladies head to L.A. to meet Zed Simms, the creator of Victoria’s new TV show. Elka tries to convince Zed to move the production to Cleveland.
TV-PG
5:00am
Bossy Cups
Inspirational coffee sleeves encourage the women to try new things. Joy helps Victoria create lifestyle videos for her website. Melanie tries to install shelves without Frankie’s help. Elka stirs up romance with Jim.
TV-PG
5:30am
The Bank Robbery
Fran and Sylvia are taken hostage in a Valentine’s Day bank robbery.
TV-PG
9:00am
Barney's Replacement
Barney believes that Andy is grooming a new man to replace him as deputy, so he tries his hand at vacuum cleaner sales.
TV-G
9:36am
Andy and the Women Speeder
A stubborn but charming lady speeder makes life difficult for Andy.
TV-G
10:12am
Mayberry Goes Bankrupt
Mayberrian Frank Myers (Andy Clyde) and the town council are shocked to learn that the township owes him nearly $350,000.
TV-G
10:48am
Barney on the Rebound
A scheming young couple victimizes Barney after a tiff with Thelma Lou.
TV-G
11:24am
Opie's Hobo Friend
Ne'er-do-well vagrant Dave Brown has a bad influence on Opie, but he sets things straight before leaving town. Guest Star: Buddy Ebsen
TV-G
12:00pm
Judgment At Red Creek
The stage carrying Sheriff Rimbau, Hoss, & Joe stops at Red Creek station to find the Sheriff's brother shot & another man killed. The Sheriff wants to track down the drifters that did the shooting, & Joe joins in on the search.
TV-PG
1:00pm
The Pack Rat
A wily little orphan-thief first steals from Marshal Dillon, then sets out to help him in an impending ambush.
TV-G
2:00pm
The Judas Gun
The feud between ranchers Noah Haimes and Clete Bolden is rekindled by the romance of Haime's only son and Bolden's only daughter.
TV-G
3:00pm
Doctor Herman Schultz, M.D.
When an old friend of Doc Adams is suspected of being a thief. Doc takes it upon himself to bring the man to justice.
TV-G
4:00pm
The Badge
Kitty Russell, seeing Matt wounded again, closes the Long Branch and leaves Dodge City to become a partner with an old friend.
TV-G
5:09pm
Crime Free Mayberry
Andy and Barney are honored for achieving the lowest crime-rate in the country.
TV-G
5:46pm
The Perfect Female
Barney and his sweetheart play cupid as they match Andy up with Thelma Lou's sharp-shooting cousin.
TV-G
6:23pm
Aunt Bee's Brief Encounter
Aunt Bee is smitten by a traveling handyman, but Andy ends up doing all of the work.
TV-G
7:00pm
The Clubmen
Andy and Barney become prospective members of an exclusive men's club in Raleigh.
TV-G
7:36pm
The Pickle Story
Andy, Barney and Opie find themselves in a real pickle when they pretend to love Aunt Bee's homemade kerosene cucumbers.
TV-G
8:12pm
The Breakup Tape
When Debra stumbles across a cassette tape that contains a message from Ray's college girlfriend, she wants to know why he has saved it all these years.
TV-PG
8:48pm
Talk to Your Daughter
Armed with research and much preparation, Ray is ready to speak with Ally about the facts of life, only to find that Ally's interest has changed from where babies come from to the meaning of life.
TV-PG
9:24pm
A Vote for Debra
Debra decides to run for school president, but Ray isn't sure he can handle the twins by himself during all those meetings -- so he votes against her.
TV-PG
10:00pm
Happy Birthdays
Comedian George Lopez stars as a L.A. manufacturing plant manager attempting to deal with a tumultuous job, a strong but challenging marriage, two rebellious children and a tough mother - all with his sense of humor intact.
TV-PG
10:30pm
Max's Big Adventure
Comedian George Lopez stars as a L.A. manufacturing plant manager attempting to deal with a tumultuous job, a strong but challenging marriage, two rebellious children and a tough mother - all with his sense of humor intact.
TV-PG
11:00pm
Icky Shuffle
Carrie is sick and she was supposed to be Arthur's partner in a shuffleboard tournament. Doug ends up having to do it, but he is a terrible player.
TV-PG
11:30pm
Awful Bigamy
Holly gets kicked out of her apartment leaving her with no place to live. Arthur offers to let her stay in the basement with him.
TV-PG