M*A*S*H

At the 4077th, R&R leave is like gold. So when Hawkeye is ambushed on his way to his first vacation in quite some time, he is understandably miffed. The situation worsens when the North Korean soldier responsible forces Hawkeye to perform emergency surgery under less-than-ideal circumstances.

A class of 4th grade students from Hawkeyes hometown writes letters to the 4077th. In writing back to the Crabapple Cove kids, the gang reveals how the war affects them.

The 4077th has been plagued by a recurring nasty infection, so Klinger decides to rip up the wooden floor in the operating room and replace it with concrete. A hot-blooded Italian soldier pursues romance with Margaret.

Margaret endures a difficult reunion with her tough-as-nails military dad. Meanwhile, a grateful GI gives Hawkeye a gorgeous side of beef to repay him for healing him. Trouble is, it wasnt his to give away! An angry General tears the 4077th apart to find his missing meat.

Merry Christmas 4077th! Local orphans have been invited to join the gang for the festivities, which include Col. Potter as Santa, chocolates secretly donated by Charles, and homemade fudge from Peg Hunnicut back in the States. But Margaret, Hawkeye, and B.J. are pulled to the OR to prevent a GI from dying on Christmas.

New Years Eve for the 4077th is a time to reminisce about 1951 -- the good, the bad, and Father Mulcahy's garden! Klinger and Col. Potter bet $20 on the National League Pennant, Hawkeye and B.J. build a kidney machine, and Margarets knitting gets out of control.

The Army has sent an officer to the 4077th to persuade as many members as possible to re-enlist for another tour of duty. Under normal circumstances, Klinger would probably pull a stunt to get discharged; however, he has just gotten word from the States that his ex is soon to be remarried. In a fit of rage, Klinger signs up for six more years in the Army.

Col. Potter must leave someone in charge while he is away from the 4077th. The assignment falls to Charles, who quickly uses his newfound power to improve his own lot in life. B.J. and Hawkeye deal with the question of immigration in the person of a GI whose mother is about to be deported back in the States.

When Klinger comes across a bottle of 1947 Bordeaux wine, the 4077th becomes a hotbed of subterfuge. Ultimately, Hawkeye makes off with it and uses it to seduce a pretty young nurse. Col. Potter loses his patience with Army bureaucracy.

A heat wave keeps Col. Potter from sleeping, moves Klinger to dismantle the PA system, drives Charles into his financial records and sends B.J. into a funk over a letter from his wife.

The steam generator explodes in the OR, injuring B.J. and nearly killing Charles. Luckily for him, Klinger pushed him out of the path of the blastin the nick of time. Charles vows to cater to Klinger's every whim as his personal slave. Meanwhile, B.J. stubbornly denies he has been injured in spite of evidence to the contrary.

Hawkeye blows a gasket when the Army ships the 4077th 500,000 tongue depressors. In order to commemorate this amazingly stupid act, Hawkeye begins constructing a statue out of the surplus depressors. Meanwhile, Klinger has started a newspaper to chronicle the goings-on of the M*A*S*H unit.

Charles finally comes face-to-face with the Major responsible for assigning him to the 4077th. Now he must choose between finally getting back to Tokyo and betraying Margaret. Hawkeye brazenly bets that he can go one full day without making a single joke.

While the 4077th plans a surprise wedding anniversary party for B.J., Charles is off inspecting the conditions of a camp on the front lines. Ever the diplomat, Charles is disgusted by what he finds and pulls no punches in failing the camp.

When Margarets old friend Cpt. Helen Whitfield comes to stay with the 4077th, she brings a party with her. Margaret begins to suspect that her friend may have a drinking problem.

All eyes in the 4077th are on Col. Potters blood pressure. Hes got two weeks to get it to an acceptable level or he wont pass his Army physical. Ironically, the attention has Sherman edgier than ever. Poor Klinger takes medicine to prevent malaria and has an adverse reaction.

Something makes Hawkeye sneeze. Then he sneezes again. And again. Unable to stop, Hawkeye and the rest of the surgeons try to figure out a medical reason for the sneezin'. Col. Potter thinks the cause could be psychological. Hawkeye is skeptical but agrees to talk to psychiatrist Maj. Sidney Freedman.

As Father Mulcahy nervously readies for a visit from a high-ranking Cardinal, Hawkeye marvels at the bond between two young soldiers. One of the GIs has been severely wounded and needs blood badly. His buddy will do anything to save him, but. B.J. and Hawkeye have discovered that the healthy GI isnt in such good shape himself -- he has leukemia.

Radar O'Reilly left the 4077th some time ago and everyone misses him. A letter from home paints a rosy picture of his life back in the States, but Col. Potter knows Radar so well that he is able to read through the lines. As Potter mulls over Radars letter, a Korean man gives the 4077th a feast of fresh vegetables as a token of his gratitude.

Camp duties at the 4077th havent been changed in a while, and Hawkeye is in for a rude awakening when he is placed in charge of food for the entire M*A*S*H unit. Charles can barely pay attention to his duties after almost being shot by a sniper.