M*A*S*H

Ho John, the Korean houseboy who works at the Swamp, learns that hes been accepted at Hawkeye's alma mater. Hawkeye helps the boy raise tuition money by selling raffle tickets. The grand prize: a weekend in Tokyo with a camp nurse!

The camps entire supply of hydrocortisone is stolen and sold on the black market. Hawkeye and Trapper acquire a fresh supply by cutting an elaborate deal with a seedy local thief. To close the deal, however, they have to bargain Henry's antique oak desk.

After Hot Lips convinces Henry to transfer a beautiful nurse out of the camp, Trapper literally fights to save the nurses job by entering the intercamp boxing tournament with Hawkeye as his trainer.

After Hawkeye is named chief surgeon, Hot Lips and Frank scheme against him; they recruit a general to visit the camp to scrutinize Hawkeye. After his encounter with the 4077th madness especially the cross-dressing Klinger the general declares that the unit is crazy.

The gang comes together to protest keeping a Korean housegirl as a servant. Hawkeye wins the girl from the sergeant who originally purchased her, but cant seem to make her understand that hes setting her free.

A brigadier general chooses the 4077th as the location to stage a fabricated documentary about the heroics of Mobile Army Surgical Hospitals or M*A*S*H units. Offended by the faked footage, Hawkeye and Trapper produce an authentic film.

When Hawkeyes request for a leave is turned down, he takes a page from Klingers book by faking insanity. His antics prove quite a challenge for the psychiatrist assigned to his case.

Henry denies a chopper pilots request to go home. The pilot decides to make his own episode of Kill Henry. The inevitable hi-jinks ensue.

Henry is transferred to Tokyo for administrative duty, which leaves Frank in charge of the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper to persuade Radar to fake an illness to lure Henry back.

When Hawkeye is accused of stealing from the 4077, he conducts his own investigation into the crime spree.

Hawkeye and Trapper steal a pint of Frank's blood. The patient who receives the blood develops complications, leading them to suspect that Frank has hepatitis.

Hawkeye describes the life inside the 4077th, from the clowning around to Father Mulcahy convincing Klinger not to kill himself. Dressed as Santa Claus, Hawkeye saves the life of a wounded soldier.

The nurses take a celibacy vow until someone goes on a date with lonely nurse Eddie (Edwina). The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser. Eddie nearly eats him alive on the date.

Radar gets a dreaded "Dear John" letter. Hawkeye and Trapper find him the perfect match, a nurse whos actually into classical literature and music.

Hawkeye and Trapper talk Radar into helping them invent a fictitious Capt. Tuttle, whose salary could be donated to help a local orphanage. The innocent lie mushrooms into a full-blown escapade.

Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar collaborate to send home a colonel (Leslie Nielsen) who has an unusually high casualty record.

Hawkeye is upset when he finds himself unable to save the life of an old friend who is wounded on the front. The grief moves Hawkeye to send home a baby-faced soldier (Ron Howard), who lied about his age to join the service.

Hawkeye writes a letter to his father, describing the volatile romance of Frank and Hot Lips, Radar's correspondence course, and a ridiculous bet Hawkeye makes, purporting that he could dine naked and no one would even notice.

Hawkeye gets a pair of longjohns from home, which he loans to his ill friend Trapper, who loans them to someone else, who loans them to someone else, and so on, until just about everybody in camp has a turn with the longjohns.

During the Army-Navy football game, the 4077th gets accidentally bombed by the CIA, leaving an unexploded shell in the camp. As they try to defuse the bomb, it explodes, littering the camp with U.S. propaganda leaflets.

Hawkeye, as usual, belittles Frank's ability in the operating room. However, as one of Hawkeye's patients starts slipping away, he begins to question his own abilities.

Frank threatens to transfer until he overhears Hawkeye and Trapper say they discovered gold. He figures out that they're pulling his leg when he discovers a ridiculous array of gilded objects, including a pure-gold jeep.

Word rages through camp that there's a ceasefire and, inevitably, a celebration erupts until the wounded soldiers arrive.

The 4077th gets a little R&R in the compound when an USO troupe comes to visit.