Wunderbar! This is one corpulent sergeant whose mass is nearly matched by his blindness to the world around him. Whether acting as a dress maker's dummy for a wedding dress, or taste-testing one of LeBeau's culinary creations, he is in constant fear of banishment to the Russian front. Schultzie wishes nothing more than to pad out his time at Stalag 13 and get back to his wife and kids. He often ignores Hogan's antics because, as he is fond of saying: "In war, I do not like to take sides!" Although he claims to know nothing, his lips can easily be loosened by a heaping helping of LeBeau's yummy strudel!