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Everybody Loves Raymond

Every Night
9/8c

Pilot

Episode: 001 | Aired: September 13, 1996

Debra yearns for a peaceful and quiet birthday at home - - with just Raymond. So he tells his parents and brother that theres no party. But Ray gets caught in a lie when his nosy parents and brother show up anyway and catch Raymond and Debra in a compromising position.

I Love You

Episode: 002 | Aired: September 20, 1996

Rays already in the dog house for not showing more affection, but Debra really gets mad when he talks about their problem with his parents. After Ray confesses that he cant say I love you, the whole family goes overboard until Debra begs him not to share their personal problems with his family anymore.

I Wish I Were Gus

Episode: 003 | Aired: September 27, 1996

As Ray is giving the eulogy at his favorite uncles, Gus, funeral, his Aunt Alda arrives to rekindle a family feud. Aunt Alda and her sister Marie havent spoken since Ray and Debras wedding seven years ago, when Aunt Alda didnt like where she was seated. Ray begs them both not to start trouble at the funeral, hoping that his eulogy about the importance of family will change their minds.

Standard Deviation

Episode: 004 | Aired: October 04, 1996

When Robert gives Ray and Debra an IQ test as part of his assignment for his criminal psychology class, the results incite subtle competition between them. Meanwhile, Robert informs Ray and Debra that they each scored higher than the other on the test so he can get their reactions for an experiment he is conducting for his class project.

Look, Don't Touch

Episode: 005 | Aired: October 11, 1996

When Angelina, a waitress at Nemos, catches Rays eye, he has a lot of explaining to do to his wife, Debra especially when Ray accidentally leaves his wallet at Nemos, and Angelina calls him at home to let him know she found it. But, because he feels guilty about his innocent attraction, Ray denies ever knowing her. When the situation is blown out of proportion by the Barone family, Debra decides to visit Nemos to see what all the fuss is about.

Frank the Writer

Episode: 006 | Aired: October 18, 1996

When Frank gets a few anecdotes published in Readers Digest, he submits his writing samples to Rays editor, hoping to get his own column in the newspaper. Frank, feeling he has a new lease on life, convinces Ray to submit his story ideas for the column, which he plans to call I Was Just Thinking. Ray then has to break the news to his father that the editor thinks Franks writing is the most embarrassing work hes ever read.

Your Place or Mine?

Episode: 007 | Aired: October 28, 1996

When Rays parents stop speaking, Marie moves in with Ray and his family, while Frank enjoys bachelorhood. Debra visits Frank, whos enjoying his life as a free man, and begs him to apologize to Marie so her mother-in-law will get out of the house. Meanwhile, Ray, tired of his mother babying him, finally gets the courage to tell her to return home where she belongs, with someone she can really baby: Frank.

In-Laws

Episode: 008 | Aired: November 01, 1996

When Rays in-laws come for a visit, he begs his parents to be nice to them and accept their differences even though their lifestyles are worlds apart. Ray admits to his parents that he doesnt always see eye to eye with Debras folks but manages to fake it - - and hed like his parents to do the same when they all go out and try to have a family dinner. The request, however, proves to be a tall order for Frank and Marie.

Win, Lose or Draw

Episode: 009 | Aired: November 08, 1996

Ray gets tired of being treated like a kid at his fathers poker game, so he ignores his fathers advice and ends up losing all his money. Debra wants Ray to act like a mature adult and ask Frank for his money back, but Ray is too stubborn. Meanwhile, it turns out that Frank was only trying to teach Ray a lesson that you can always go to your father and hell make everything OK.

Turkey or Fish

Episode: 010 | Aired: November 22, 1996

Although Marie has always cooked the traditional turkey for Thanksgiving, Debra decides its her turn to prepare the holiday meal. However, not wanting to compete with Maries turkey, she chooses to serve fish which upsets the apple cart. Marie, feeling threatened when her family thinks Debras fish idea is perfectly acceptable, decides to bring her own turkey to the dinner party to prove shes a better cook. Meanwhile, Rays idea of a traditional holiday at home becomes even more untraditional when the relatives opt not to watch football.

Captain Nemo

Episode: 011 | Aired: December 13, 1996

When Rays free time goes to coaching his basketball team in preparation for the Pizza League championships, he is reminded by Debra that their kids are growing up fast and hes missing precious time with them. When Robert is forced out as captain of Nemos basketball team, Ray gets the title and the opportunity to lead his team to victory. Meanwhile, Frank and Marie are upset with Ray for dethroning Robert as captain, and -- feeling guilty -- Ray begs Robert to re-join the team.

The Ball

Episode: 012 | Aired: December 20, 1996

When Ray discovers, after many years, that the autographed Mickey Mantle ball he got as a kid from his father isnt authentic, he begins to doubt if anyone actually tells the truth. Feeling hurt, Ray decides to tell Ally the truth about Santa Claus. But when two familiar looking Santas unexpectedly show up at the house to surprise Ally, shes even more confused about the truth.

Debra's Sick

Episode: 013 | Aired: January 03, 1997

With Debra and the kids sick, Ray tries to juggle the responsibilities of home and work and ends up with chaos and an aborted meeting with ex-Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw, who is considering Ray as the ghost writer for his biography, agrees to meet with him at the pediatricians office, where Ray has an appointment for his kids. The meeting is cut short when their conversation is disrupted by screaming children. Then, when Ray realizes that he has brought the wrong twin to the doctor, he thinks hes a bad father who cant tell his twins apart.

Who's Handsome?

Episode: 014 | Aired: January 17, 1997

Robert is reluctant to go on a date because hes insecure about his appearance, so when Debra tells him hes attractive, Ray starts feeling insecure about his own looks. So, Ray decides to get a head to toe make-over to impress Debra, including a fake tan like George Hamilton.

The Car

Episode: 015 | Aired: January 31, 1997

Debra, already annoyed at getting stuck driving the old car Ray bought from his parents, really gets upset when she discovers that is was his old make out mobile. Robert mistakenly blurts out that its the car where Ray first got lucky as a teenager. Imagining what might have happened in the car during its earlier life, Debra decides not to drive it again.

Diamonds

Episode: 016 | Aired: February 07, 1997

When Ray discovers that the diamond in Debras wedding ring is a fake, he finds a way to steal the ring so he can replace the stone, unaware that she replaced the diamond with a real one after their wedding. Meanwhile, Robert, in an attempt to show is affection for his new girlfriend on Valentine's Day, finds out that her favorite color is green and decides to surprise her.

The Game

Episode: 017 | Aired: February 21, 1997

When Ray and his family play a game of Scruples after their cable goes out and they have nothing but time on their hands, they find themselves arguing about honesty. To make matters worse, when Ray complains to the cable company about the disruption in service, he is informed that he has an illegal hookup -- courtesy of his dad.

Recovering Pessimist

Episode: 018 | Aired: February 28, 1997

When Debra tries to change Rays pessimistic attitude about winning the Sports Writer of the Year Award, he agrees to change his ways and become more upbeat -- and suffers the downside of being the only optimist in his family. When Ray finally starts feeling good about himself and his recent accomplishments, his family is surprised by the change in his personality and accuses him of being a bragger with a swelled head.

The Dog

Episode: 019 | Aired: March 03, 1997

Ray brings home a stray bulldog that reminds him of the dog he had to give up as a boy due to his allergies, but his brother Robert bonds with the animal and the siblings then have to decide who gets to keep him. When the owner of the dog arrives at the Barones' house to pick up what turns out to be her prize-winning stud, she discovers that hes been fixed and isnt worth anything to her -- but that means everything to Ray and Robert.

Neighbors

Episode: 020 | Aired: March 10, 1997

When Franks late-night buzz sawing and Maries persistent meddling bother the neighborhood, they meet with Ray to discuss how hell inform his parents of their complaints. When Frank and Marie show up unexpectedly at Rays house, they assume that Ray planned the meeting to talk about them behind their backs. Feeling guilty for having the meeting at his home, Ray goes to confession to admit he broke a commandment -- the one about honoring thy father and mother. But when the priest hears who Rays parents are, he is absolved.

Fascinatin' Debra

Episode: 021 | Aired: March 17, 1997

When Debra is being interviewed by a psychotherapist for a book on the American family, the doctor discovers that Ray and his family are more fascinating, in a quirky way, than she is. When Debra complains to Ray that she is too normal and boring, he accidentally spills the beans to his family. Although the Barones feel that Debra lacks a certain flair, they try to make her feel fascinating by pretending her daily routine at home is interesting.

Why Are We Here?

Episode: 022 | Aired: April 07, 1997

When Debra gets fed up with Rays family intruding in her life, they both reminisce about how quiet life used to be in their old apartment miles away from his family. Ray reminds Debra that he never wanted to move closer to his parents because he knew they would make pesky in-laws. At the time Debra thought he was overreacting about his parents, until they moved across the street from the elder Barones, and Debras had to live with the consequences.