All in the Family

It's moving day for the Stivics, and Gloria has an announcement that makes the occasion even more joyful than it already is - she's going to have a baby.

After five years of suffering Archie's snarling insults, Mike declares he and Gloria's moving day as "Michael Stivic's Independence Day," and the verbal fireworks begin. Mike's explosive cutting of the umbilical cord turns out to be not only premature but also very uncomfortable for him and Gloria.

Archie's zealousness to get a promotion is going to cost him a lot more than he bargained for when he's sure he can improve the odds of his getting the dispatcher's job by being the first employee to sign up for the personnel director's latest pet charity.

Archie's quick thinking saves the life of a woman, but the woman he saved is no lady. Archie's anxious for the world to know of his heroics, but instantly changes his mind when he discovers the truth about the woman he rescued.

Where should a father be during the birth of his baby - in the waiting room or in the delivery room? That's the problem facing Mike.

Archie has no idea he's living dangerously when he rips up a chain letter. Considering chain letters to be nothing but superstitious bunk, Archie defies the bad luck promised in the letter by breaking the chain, only to find himself the object of a string of mishaps.

Already hard-pressed by money problems, Gloria loses her job. When Mike and Gloria learn the dismissal was based on her being pregnant, their shock turns to rage and a cry for justice.

Archie gets the shock of his life when he orders Edith to stop her volunteer work at a home for the aged and she out-and-out refuses. Archie gets his first glimpse of a side of Edith he's never seen before - independence - and he doesn't like it one bit.

Irascible Archie must perform a miracle: he has to stay calm for an entire weekend so his blood pressure will be low when he takes a mandatory company physical.

Is Mike being unfaithful? Gloria suspects the worst after Mike's once-a-week job of tutoring a curvaceous college cutie suddenly becomes a twice-a-week job, at her apartment.

As Thanksgiving dinner gets cold, Archie's and Mike's tempers get really hot. This time they are locking horns over the soon-to-be-born baby Stivic's religion - or possible lack of it. Archie insists that his grandchild be raised as a Christian, while Mike insists that the decision about religion be left up to the child.

Things go from bad to worse for Archie when he is mugged and it is he - not the mugger - who ends up on trial. Archie becomes the confused and very angry defendant when the police discover he had possession of what they consider to be an illegal weapon during the mugging.

Pregnant, nine days overdue, and feeling unattractive and unloved, Gloria takes out her frustrations on her well-intentioned husband. The crisis becomes more explosive when Mike doesn't want to change his plans to accommodate Gloria's baby shower.

While Archie suffers from stage fright, his "little baby" is about to have her first little baby - and it looks like she may have it in an Italian restaurant. All the parental preparation for the long-awaited event goes out the window when Mike panics and insists that they leave the restaurant immediately - which proves easier said than done.

The blessed event is imminent. Gloria's labor pains are five minutes apart and now, it's a race with time. As Gloria and Mike arrive at the hospital for the birth, they are met by a nervous Edith and an overanxious Archie, who has been causing havoc at the hospital.

The fireworks at the Stivic household are caused by Mike's habit of making decisions without consulting Gloria. The sparks really fly when Mike adds insult to injury by going so far as to change decisions he and Gloria had made together.

After firing little Joey's babysitter, Grandpa Archie brings the three-week-old tyke home to join a poker game with the guys. Watching the infant turns out to be no cut-and-dried assignment, much to Archie's dismay.

It looks like Archie has turned over a new leaf - he's befriended a Jewish man - but appearances can be deceiving. A neighborhood watchmaker has an invention Archie is sure will make them both millionaires.

The always-liberal Mike must face the true meaning of his ideals when it looks like he may miss an opportunity for a promotion because of his race.

Archie has been warned by his doctor to lose weight, and the rest of the Bunkers decide it's time for everyone to go on a healthful diet, something which Archie finds no time for - until he realizes how important time really is.

Gloria's 24-hour-a-day job as a new mother doesn't leave much time for Mike, who's feeling the part of the neglected and unloved husband.

Archie and Mike continue their dispute over little Joey's religious destiny, but this time Archie will stop at nothing in order to have his grandson baptized.

Joey's baptism continues to create sparks, especially when a busted furnace forces the Bunkers to spend a few days at the Stivic house. Things take an unexpected turn when a sudden black-out short-circuits more than just the lights.

Not even pressure from Gloria will get Archie to take Edith out for a night on the town, but Edith is tired of taking "no" for an answer.