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Moving On Up

In an effort to move into a new phase of their lives, Boyce and Lolli decide to sell their house and move into a luxury condo.

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED IN FRONT OF

A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- [laughs]WELL, LOOK AT YOU, MAN.

"LESTER HARRIS,LICENSED REAL ESTATE AGENT."

I'M PROUD OF YOU, MAN.

- WELL, TRUTH BE TOLD,

I DIDN'T PASS THE TESTTHE FIRST TWO TIMES.

THEN, I READ REAL ESTATE LICENSES FOR DUMMIES.

IT WAS LIKE IT WAS SPEAKINGRIGHT TO ME.

- HEY,THANKS FOR COMING OVER.

- [clears throat]- OOH.

DON'T YOU LOOK CUTEIN YOUR REAL ESTATE JACKET?

- BABE, I JUST REALIZED THATMY GRANDMAMA'S COUCH

WAS A REAL ESTATE AGENT.- STOP.

- WELL I HOPE IT WORE THE COLORAS PROUDLY AS I WEAR THIS.

I'M EXCITED Y'ALL ARE THINKINGABOUT BUYING A NEW PLACE!

- WELL, LESTER,WE'VE BEEN DISCUSSING

THIS FOR SOME TIME NOW,

AND WE'RE READY TO MOVE ONTO OUR PHRASE THREE.

- "PHASE THREE?"

- YEAH, PHASE THREEOF OUR LIFE.

PHASE ONE WAS FULFILLINGOUR PROFESSIONAL DREAMS.

- NAILED IT.

- PHASE TWO--RAISE AN OUTSTANDING FAMILY.

together: CHECK!

- I MEAN, LYRIC IS ENGAGED...

I MEAN, TO A REALLY OLD DUDE,BUT STILL.

HER MUSIC CAREER IS ON TRACK.

AND WE GOT STAMPSOUT OF THE HOUSE.

- SAY IT AGAIN, BOYCE!

- WE GOT STAMPSOUT OF THE HOUSE!

SO PHASE THREEIS ALL ABOUT US.

- AS IT SHOULD BE.

NOW, HOW CAN I MAKE YOUR DREAMSCOME TRUE?

- WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'D LIKETO LIVE SOMEWHERE LIVELY,

WHERE WE CAN WALK TO EVERYTHING.UM, THEATER...

- OH, SHOPPING...- RESTAURANTS...

- SHOPPING...

- SO YOU'RE NOT JUSTLOOKING FOR A HOME,

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A...LIFESTYLE.

- A LIFESTYLENEAR SHOPPING.

- SO HOW SOON CAN WEGET STARTED, LESTER?

[door opening]- HEY, Y'ALL.

WE'VE GOT TO USEYOUR WASHING MACHINE AGAIN.

OURS IS BROKEN.- YEAH, AND WE MAY BRING

SOME DISHES WITH US TOMORROW.YOU KNOW,

WE DON'T HAVEONE GOOD APPLIANCE?

- YO.

MAKE SOME ROOMON THAT COUCH.

I ORDERED A BOXING MATCHON YOUR TV

'CAUSE I'M ON A FIXED INCOME.

- THE SOONER THE BETTER,LESTER,

THE SOONER THE BETTER.

[soul music]

- ♪ AH

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN ♪

- WELL, AS YOU'VE SEEN,THE RIVER VIEW TOWERS

HAS AN EXPANSIVE LOBBY,

A FULL-SERVICE SPA,

PLENTY OF SHOPPINGON THE GROUND FLOOR,

AND TWO HELICOPTER PADS.

- GOOD.

BECAUSE HOVERINGIN MY HELICOPTER

IS ONE OF MY PET PEEVES.

- WELL, PASTOR, FIRST LADY,PREPARE TO BE DAZZLED.

- [gasps]

OH, MY--- GOD!

- BOYCE, THIS PLACE ISUNBELIEVABLE.

- BELIEVE IT! LOVE IT--

"LIVE IT,"

PASTOR, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVETHIS LITTLE PERK.

- OH, HO. WOW.

WHAT ARE THE NEIGHBORS UPSTAIRSGONNA SAY

WHEN THEIR TV STARTS SINKINGTHROUGH THE FLOOR?

[laughs]

[doorbell rings]

- MR. AND MRS. BALLENTINE,WELCOME TO THE TOWERS.

HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE?

- WHO ARE YOU?

- I'M FREDERICK,YOUR PERSONAL CONCIERGE.

- FREDERICK IS HERE TO BRING YOUANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES.

- I HAVE A FEELINGTHE GENTLEMAN IS DESIRING

A BOTTLE OF COGNAC.

- I WAS DESIRING THAT.

- AND, FOR THE LADY,FINE CHOCOLATES

COVERED IN GOLD LEAF.

- [gasps]I LOVE HIM!

- LET ME SAY, IT'S AN HONORTO HAVE A STAR

OF YOUR STATURE IN THE TOWERS,SIR.

NOW, I DON'T MEANTO NAME-DROP,

BUT, WHILE HE'S SHOOTINGHIS NEXT BIG MOVIE,

YOUR NEIGHBOR ISA VERY FAMOUS ACTOR,

WHOSE NAME RHYMESWITH "BLENZEL SPLOSHINGTON."

- BOYCE,BLENZEL SPLOSHINGTON!

- OOH, OOH, I'M GOOD AT THIS.GIVE ME A SEC.

BLENZEL, BLENZEL...

[groans]I GOT NOTHING.

- IF YOU REQUIRE ANYTHING MORE,JUST PRESS THIS BUTTON

ON YOUR REMOTE CONTROL,

AND I'LL BE HERE IN A JIFF.

- SEE THAT, BABE?

A REMOTE CONTROL THAT BRINGSA TV OUT OF THE CEILING

AND A WHITE MANTO YOUR FRONT DOOR.

both: WE'LL TAKE IT.

- AND THEN INITIAL HERE,HERE, AND HERE.

- OKAY.- OOH.

- [laughs]- THIS IS ALL SO EXCITING.

WE ARE OFFICIALLY ENTERINGPHASE THREE!

- I'M HAPPY FOR ALL OF US.

MY FIRST COMMISSION.

I'VE BEEN EYEINGA MINI COOPER IN RUBY RED.

- YOU IN A MINI COOPER?

YOU BETTER GETONE FOR EACH FOOT.

- [laughs]

- HEY, LESTER,HOW FAST DO YOU THINK

YOU COULD SELL THIS HOUSE?

- I DO ALREADY HAVEAN INTERESTED PARTY.

I THINK WE'RE VERY CLOSETO AN OFFER.

- REALLY?- NAH.

THEY TELL US TO SAY THATAT REAL ESTATE SCHOOL.

IT'S CALLED"EXAGGERATED OPTIMISM."

I GOT AN "A."

- REALLY?- NAH.

- HEY.

- WHAT'S UP, DAD?- BARTON?

WHY ARE YOU WEARING SHORTS?

- BECAUSE I HAVETHE CALVES FOR IT.

AND I'M ON MY WAYTO THE SENIOR CENTER

FOR OUR DODGE BALL TOURNAMENT.

- DADDY, THERE'S TWO WORDS

THAT SHOULD NOT EVERGO TOGETHER.

"SENIOR" AND "DODGE BALL."

- LOOK, I LOVE THE SPORT.

I LIKE TO GET ANGRYBEFORE THE GAMES,

SO I THOUGHT I'D STOP BYAND SEE MY FAMILY.

- MAN, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVEY'ALL ARE MOVING.

YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THIS FURNITURE?

- YEAH.

NONE OF OURPHASE TWO DECOR GOES

WITH PHASE THREE.

- WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS COUCH?

- HMM, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, YOU THINKTHIS IS OUR STYLE?

- BABY, IT'S FREE.IT'S OUR STYLE.

- OOH!YOU SAID THAT!

- NOTHING MAKES ME ANGRIER

THAN AN UNMARRIED COUPLESHACKING UP.

I'M READYFOR MY DODGE BALL GAME.

THANK YOU, SINNERS.

- OH, WOW.THAT WAS GREAT.

I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN.

HERE WE GO.- OH, NO, PLEASE.

GRATUITIES AREN'T ACCEPTEDHERE AT THE TOWERS.

- YEAH, I KNOW,BUT THIS WAS

'CAUSE I BROKE WINDON THE TABLE.

OKAY, THAT STAYSBETWEEN US NOW!

- [sighs]

- BABE.

WHOO.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE STUFF

THAT WOMAN DID TO MY BODY.

I GOT LOTIONWHERE WATER'S NEVER BEEN.

- BOYCE, NORMALLY,WHAT YOU JUST SAID

WOULD'VE MADE ME MAD.

BUT I SHOPPEDIN FOUR DIFFERENT STORES

AND NEVER LEFT THE BUILDING.

SO I'M GOOD.

OOH. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSEWOULD BE GOOD?

CHAMPAGNE.

[doorbell rings]

- THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOYCHAMPAGNE.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT,

I JUST LIKE IT THAT HE DOES.

- EVERYTHING IS ALL LINED UP

FOR YOUR SOIREE THIS EVENING.

MOST OF YOUR NEIGHBORSARE COMING.

AND I JUST SAW THE CATERERSUNLOADING DOWNSTAIRS.

- OOH, I'M SO NERVOUS.

DO YOU THINK THEY'LL LIKE US?

- OH, THE TOWERS PEOPLE AREA LOVELY BUNCH.

VERY OPEN AND ACCEPTING

AS LONG AS YOU'RE EXACTLYLIKE THEM.

BY THAT, I MEAN,QUIET, NO DRAMA.

THEY DON'T LIKE LOUDAND BRASH.

- HA! THEN WE GOT THIS!- GOT IT.

- ♪ GOT IT, GOT IT [doorbell rings]

- I'LL GET THAT.

[singing continues]

- BABE,IT FINALLY LOOKS LIKE

OUR PHASE THREE IS BEGINNING.

IT'S JUST US AND FREDERICK

AND OUR NEW NEIGHBORS.

- OW.

MM--

AND YOUR DADDY.

- DADDY, WHAT HAPPENED?

- LEG'S BROKE.DODGE BALL ACCIDENT.

THEY WANTED ME TO LAY UPIN REHAB.

I TOLD THEM MY SONWOULDN'T HAVE THAT.

- WHICH SON?

- THE SON WITHTHE COOL APARTMENT.

THIS WORKED OUT QUITE WELL.

- I REARED BACK, CLOCKEDBROTHER DAVIS IN THE KISSER.

GLASSES WENT ONE WAY,

HEARING AIDAND DENTURES THE OTHER.

IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY HAD DROPPEDA MR. POTATO HEAD.

I STARTED DOINGMY VICTORY DANCE,

STEPPED ON THE DODGE BALL,AND BROKE MY LEG.

GUESS GOD DOESN'T LIKEA SHOW-OFF.

- HE APPARENTLY DON'T LIKE DUDESWITH NEW CONDOS EITHER.

[doorbell rings]

- OOH, THAT BETTERNOT BE DENZEL

WHEN I STILL GOT ONMY PLAY CLOTHES.

- DADDY, ARE YOU SUREYOU CAN'T FIND

ANY PLACE ELSE TO STAY?

WE'RE EXPECTING PARTY GUESTSIN A FEW HOURS.

- YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE.

TURN YOUR TV ONTO LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

NOT THE ORIGINAL ONE.

THE NEW ONE WITHTHE BLACK FELLOW

WHO SOUNDS WHITE.

- YEAH, YEAH,THIS IS NICE, BRO.

- OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.- OH, YEAH. THIS IS VERY CHIC.

- WHOA, WHOA,WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHAT ARE THE TWO OF YOUDOING IN HERE

AND WHY DO YOU HAVE LUGGAGE?

- WELL, WHEN WE GOTTHE FURNITURE IN,

WE DECIDED WE WANTEDTO RE-PAINT.

- YEAH, WE FOUND SOME GUYS

THAT GOT GREAT REVIEWSON ANGIE'S LIST TO DO IT.

NOW THE PLACE SMELLSLIKE PAINT,

SO HERE WE ARE.

WHERE SHOULD WE PUT OUR BAGS?

- HOW ABOUT BACK IN YOUR CAR?

Y'ALL JUST CAN'T MOVE IN HERE.

- COME ON, Y'ALL.WE GOTTA CRASH HERE.

- I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.

YOU TWO ARE NOT SLEEPINGIN THE SAME BED.

- POP, KIM AND I ARE ADULTS.

- IF YOU'RE AN ADULT,DO THE ADULT THING

AND MARRY THE GIRL.

- I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED.

I'M DEFINITELYNOT GETTING MARRIED

'CAUSE YOU SAY WE SHOULD.

- HOW ABOUTSO YOU WON'T BURN IN HELL?

- WHEN DID YOU DECIDEYOU DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY ME?

- BABE, IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL,OKAY?

I DON'T WANT TO MARRY ANYBODY.

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.THIS AIN'T NO JOY RIDE!

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

LISTEN, LOVE & HIP-HOP: ATLANTA,

WOULD Y'ALL STOP IT?

WE ARE EXPECTINGPARTY GUESTS SOON.

- YEAH, AND "RATCHET" IS NOTON THE MENU.

- IS A SANDWICH ON THE MENU?

'CAUSE I'M NOT VERY PLEASANTWHEN I'M HUNGRY.

- HE MUST ALWAYS BE HUNGRY.- YEAH.

- WHAT YOU SAY?- HUH? I AIN'T SAID NOTHING.

- SO DENZEL WAS IN THE JACUZZIIN THIS BUILDING?

TELL ME EVERYTHING.

NO DETAIL TOO SMALL.

- AND I TOLD SIEGFRIEDWHEN I MET THE TIGER,

I SAID, "LOOK, THAT'S THE ONEI WOULD NOT TURN MY BACK ON."

- BOYCE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOUABOUT STAMPS.

- OH, KIM, I WASIN THE MIDDLE

OF EXAGGERATING SOMEREALLY MEDIOCRE STORIES.

- HOW DO YOU NOT HAVEA VIDEO

OF THAT MAN IN THE JACUZZI?

YOU PUT THE CELL PHONE UPTO YOUR EAR,

THEN PRESS RECORD.

OOH, I GOT SO MUCHTO TEACH Y'ALL.

OKAY.- LOLLI, YOU GOT A MINUTE?

- NO, I'M TEACHING CLASS.- OH, GREAT. LISTEN.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOUABOUT KIM.

- HAS STAMPS EVER TOLD YOUHE NEVER WANTS TO GET MARRIED?

- ALL I SAID WAS THAT I DIDN'TWANT TO GET MARRIED,

AND NOW SHE WON'TEVEN TALK TO ME.

- I MEAN, THAT'S SOMETHINGYOU TELL SOMEONE

BEFORE YOU COMMITTO A FREE SOFA TOGETHER.

- [sighs]

- JUST BECAUSEWE'RE LIVING TOGETHER

AND ACCUMULATING FURNITUREAND ALMOST HAD A BABY,

WHERE DOES SHE GET THE IDEATHAT I WANT TO GET MARRIED?

- I SWEAR, SOMETIMES,I DON'T KNOW

WHAT GOES ONIN THAT BOY'S HEAD.

- WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK STAMPSWHAT HE'S THINKING.

SOMETIMES HIS ANSWERSARE REALLY FUN.

- WHAT--WHAT IS LYRICDOING HERE?

- I MEAN, IS KIM CRAZY?KIM'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

- STAMPS, SHUT UP.

I CAN'T PRETEND TO LISTENTO YOU ANYMORE.

BOYCE, LYRIC IS HERE.

GIVE ME THAT.

- YOU DID NOT JUST SNATCHMY GRABBER.

- BABY GIRL, WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE?

- OH, I HAD A FEW DAYSBETWEEN TOUR DATES,

AND I THOUGHT I'D COME INAND SEE THE NEW PLACE.

- WELL, WHO IS THIS?- MOM, DAD.

THIS IS JAMESON.- HEY.

- HE'S MYNEW DRUMMER/BOYFRIEND.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.DRUMMER/BOYFRIEND?

WHAT HAPPENEDTO YOUR FIANCE/OLD GUY?

- I GOT RID OF HIM.

ONCE HE BROKE HIS HIP,

HE WASN'T AS MUCH FUN.

- LYRIC, YOU COULD'VE TOLD US.

- I SENT YOU A TEXT.

LOOK.

OH...

I DIDN'T HIT SEND.THERE.

- WELL, JONATHAN,WE HAVE IT FROM HERE, OKAY?

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- OH, NO. I'M STAYINGWITH YOU GUYS.

both: WHAT?- YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS PLACE IS DOPE.

I'M GONNA HAVEA TON OF FUN HERE.

WHERE'S MY ROOM, MOM?

- SWEETHEART, WE ONLY HAVEONE BEDROOM.

- WAIT, I DON'T HAVE A BEDROOM?

WHERE ARE WE GONNA SLEEP?

- "WE"? THEY ARE NOT SLEEPINGIN THE SAME ROOM!

- GRANDAD! COME MEET HIM.COME ON.

[cell phone chimes]

- OH, LOOK AT THAT, BOYCE.

OUR DAUGHTER JUST BROKE UPWITH HER FIANCE.

- OVER HERE, BOYS.- OH, NO, NO.

THAT'S NOT COMINGIN MY HOUSE.

DADDY, WHAT IS YOUR RECLINERDOING IN MY HOUSE?

- DON'T YOU WANT METO BE COMFORTABLE?

- WE--WE ARE HAVING A PARTY!

- IF YOU WEREN'T INTO IT, YOUSHOULD'VE JUST TOLD ME THAT.

- WELL, WE WERE FINE UNTIL POPSSTARTED TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE.

- DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS!

[overlapping arguing]

- YOU KNOW WHAT,YOU GUYS, STOP IT!

NOW, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEENTHERE FOR ALL OF YOU

WHENEVER YOU NEEDED US!

[shouting] AND WE ARE HAVINGA PARTY RIGHT NOW

AND IT'S SUPPOSEDTO BE DRAMA FREE

AND NOT LOUD!

- THIS IS PHASE THREE!

THIS ISA PHASE THREE SITUATION!

ALL RIGHT.IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT US.

WE CAN'T MAKE IT ABOUT US

IF Y'ALL IN HEREMAKING IT ABOUT Y'ALL!

- OH, SO THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL?

- YEAH.

- WELL, DON'T LET US CRAMPYOUR STYLE.

- I'M NOT STAYINGWHERE I'M NOT WANTED!

- FINE. YOU WANT TO GO,GO AHEAD AND GO.

EVERYBODY, GO.AND TAKE JONATHAN WITH YOU.

- JAMESON!- COME ON, JA-MAIN-NATHAN.

- STAMPS, GET BACK HEREAND HELP ME STORM OUT.

SOMEBODY ELSE GRAB MESOME OF THOSE MEATBALLS TO GO.

- DON'T.- DON'T YOU--YOU--

- BEEP, BEEP.

BEEP.[humming]

- [sighs]HEY.

- HEY, BABE.- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNACOME DOWN TO THE SPA

FOR ANOTHER MASSAGE.

- NAH, I CANCELED IT.

YOU KNOW, I JUST WAS TIREDOF BEING TOUCHED.

SO, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOUSHOPPING?

- I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M SAYING THIS,

BUT I DON'T WANTTO GO SHOPPING.

- I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M SAYING THIS,

BUT ARE YOU SURE?

- [sighs]

- YEAH.

[whistles]

- YOU ARE STILL ENJOYINGPHASE THREE THOUGH, RIGHT?

- OH, YEAH. YEAH.

REALLY ENJOYING IT.

YOU KNOW,I WATCHED C-SPAN TODAY.

AND THEY WERE VOTING ONA BUDGET FOR A BRIDGE.

I DON'T THINKIT'S GONNA HAPPEN THOUGH.

YEAH.[doorbell rings]

- OOH![laughs]

WE GOT COMPANY!

- HA!I HAVE AN OFFER ON YOUR HOUSE.

[laughs] IT IS ABOVEASKING PRICE AND ALL CASH.

I'M THINKINGALL ONE DOLLAR BILLS.

HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE?

- YEAH, THAT'S GREAT, LESTER.

THE THING IS, THEY WANTTO MEET YOU TWO

BEFORE THEY PULL THE TRIGGER.

AND THEY'RE A LOVELY COUPLEWITH TWO KIDS,

BUT THEY'RE KIND OF"NEW AGE-Y."

IT'S ALL ABOUT "VIBE"AND "WANG CHUNG"

KIND OF STUFF.

WOULD YOU MIND MEETING THEMAT THE OLD HOUSE?

- YOU MEAN ACTUALLYGO SOMEWHERE?

- THAT'S NOT HERE?

- IT WOULD REALLY HELPSEAL THE DEAL.

- OOH, LET'S DO IT, MAN.I'LL GET DRESSED.

OH, WHERE DID I PUT MY PANTS?

[over P.A. system]- THEY'RE CRUMPLED AT THE FOOT

OF YOUR BED, SIR.

OKAY, THIS IS STARTINGTO GET CREEPY, FREDERICK.

[over P.A. system]- WELL, IT'S NO PARTY

FOR ME EITHER, SIR.

- LESTER'S ALREADY SOLD USON THE HOUSE.

BUT WE WANT YOU TO SELL USON THE HOME.

- WELL, WHAT CAN WE SAY?

IT'S A PRETTY DARN GOOD HOUSE.

AS YOU CAN SEEIT'S BEEN TREATED

WITH A LOT OF LOVE AND CARE.

- YEAH, OUR LITTLE GIRLWAS RAISED IN THIS HOUSE.

SO MANY GOOD TIMES.

- OH, YEAH, YEAH?WE ALL LOVE GOOD TIMES.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL USABOUT THEM?

AND BE DESCRIPTIVE.

- WELL, BIRTHDAY PARTIES,BARBECUES,

WE USED TO HAVEFAMILY GAME NIGHTS RIGHT HERE.

OH, IT WOULD GETSO COMPETITIVE.

- AND THE LEAVES AREALWAYS GREEN HERE,

AND THE SUN ISALWAYS SHINING,

AND, WELL, THE HOUSEPRACTICALLY PAINTS ITSELF.

- OH, UM,

AND--AND I AM AWAKENED

BY SINGING ANIMALS

EVERY MORNING

WHILE BIRDS DRESS ME

IN A GOWN OFTHEIR OWN MAKING.

- OKAY.

- DO YOU FEEL IT, HONEY?

THE ENERGY?

- I DO.RIGHT IN HERE.

- OH.- [laughs] OH.

YEAH, YEAH. THERE IT IS.- OH.

- OH, BOY.[laughs]

WE ARE HOME.- HOME.

- LET'S GO CHECK OUTTHE BACKYARD AGAIN.

- WE BOTH HAVE BIG FAMILIES.

THEY ALL SHOW UPFOR THANKSGIVING,

WE HAVEA HUGE TOUCH FOOTBALL GAME.

- WE'RE PRACTICALLY KENNEDYS.- [squeals]

- [laughs]

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T WANT TO SAYNOTHING WHILE THEY WERE HERE,

BUT THIS AIN'T NOTHING BUTAIR CONDITIONING RIGHT HERE.

- BUT BOYCE, DID YOU HEAR WHATTHEY SAID ABOUT THANKSGIVING?

WE DIDN'T EVEN THINKABOUT THAT.

WE ALWAYS HAVE THANKSGIVING.

WE CAN'T HAVE THANKSGIVINGAT THAT CONDO.

WE DON'T EVEN HAVEA DINING ROOM.

- NO, NO WAY OUR FAMILY

CAN FIT AROUNDTHAT LITTLE BITTY TABLE.

AND YOU KNOWHOW DADDY CARVES UP A TURKEY.

IF HE DOESN'T HAVEA FOUR-FOOT SAFETY ZONE,

SOMEBODY GONNA GET STABBED.

- BOYCE, WE GOT STAMPS,WE GOT KIM,

WE GOT LYRIC--

WHAT ABOUT OUR GRANDBABIES,BOYCE?

WHERE ARE THEY GONNA PLAY?

YOU KNOW, OUR BACKYARD IS14 STORIES DOWN.

DID WE DO THE RIGHT THINGBY BUYING THE CONDO?

- YES! YES!

YES, OF COURSE YOU DID!

THAT CONDO IS WAY BETTER.

AND YOU CAN DO THANKSGIVINGBUFFET STYLE.

EVERYBODY LOVES A BUFFET.

YOU CAN JUST DO ITIN THE LIVING ROOM

AROUND THE COFFEE TABLE,JUST KNEEL AROUND IT

LIKE THE PILGRIMS DID.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, LESTER?- PLEASE DON'T SAY IT, PASTOR.

- I JUST DON'T THINKBUYING THE CONDO...

- ♪ YOU'RE A GRAND OLD FLAG

♪ YOU'RE A HIGH-FLYING FLAG

- WAS THE RIGHT MOVE FOR US.- BUT--

- YOU REALLY FEEL THAT WAY,BOYCE?

- I THINK I DO.

- PASTOR, IF YOU DON'T SELLTHIS HOUSE,

I LOSE THE COMMISSION.

- LESTER,JUST GET THE COMMISSION

WHEN YOU RESELL THE CONDO.

- HOW AM I GONNA UNLOADTHAT PLACE?

YOU CAN'T EVEN HAVEDINNER THERE!

- SO, WE'RE SORRY.WE MADE A MISTAKE.

WE WERE CHASING SOMETHINGWE THOUGHT WE WANTED.

IT TURNS OUT WE REALLY DIDN'TWANT IT AFTER ALL.

I MEAN, WE MIGHT WANT ITSOME DAY,

BUT WE'RE NOT DONE

WANTING WHAT WE WANT.

- GOOD LORD, BOY,ARE YOU PAID

TO USE THE WORD "WANT"?

- WHAT WE'RE SAYING IS,

BARTON, WE'RE NOT SELLINGTHE HOUSE, OKAY?

WE TREASURE HAVINGALL YOU GUYS IN OUR LIVES.

AND WE OWE YOU AN APOLOGYBECAUSE YOU ALL

WERE TRYING TO TELL USSOMETHING EARLIER,

AND WE DIDN'T LISTEN.

- WELL, ACTUALLY,KIM AND I WORKED OUT

OUR MARRIAGE ISSUES.- YEAH.

YEAH, WE DID, AND WE HAVEAN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

- OH, LORD.

- STAMPS PROPOSED.

- YEP, YEP, AND SHE SAID NO.

- YEAH, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW

THAT HE WOULD MARRY ME,BUT I'M NOT READY TO.

- YEAH, AND I WANTED HER TO KNOWTHAT I WOULD MARRY HER,

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO.

- I HAVE NO IDEAWHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE.

- AS LONG AS IT MAKES SENSETO THEM.

- HEY.

SO IF YOU GUYS ARE GONNASTAY HERE,

CAN JAMESON AND I GOSTAY IN THE CONDO?

- ABSOLUTELY NOT!- NO, NO, NO.

- DON'T WORRY, SIR.WE'RE NOT GONNA SLEEP TOGETHER.

- UH-UH,- I'M A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN.

- NICE.I USED TO USE THAT ONE TOO.

- WHAT THE HELL ISA BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN?

- DAD, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOWWHAT THAT MEANS?

HE'S HAD SEX,BUT HE'S SAVING HIMSELF

UNTIL HE HAS SEX AGAIN.

- ONCE YOU DONE HAD SEX,YOU DONE ALREADY HAD SEX!

- ARE YOU PEOPLE PAIDTO SAY THE WORD "SEX"?

AND YOU'RE NOT TAKINGTHAT BOY ANYWHERE!

- BUT, GRANDDAD, THAT'S NOT--

- LYRIC, SAVE YOUR BREATH,OKAY?

POP MADE ME SLEEPIN THE GARAGE

LAST NIGHT WITH JONATHAN.

- THAT'S NOT HIS NAME!

- JAYCOLE, JER-MAIN-NATHAN.

I DON'T CAREWHAT HIS NAME IS.

YOU TWO ARE NOT SLEEPINGIN THE SAME ROOM.

[overlapping arguing]

- THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL SOUND,BOYCE.

- YEAH.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE PHASE TWO.

- THROW UP THE DUB.both: PHASE TWO.

[arguing continues]

[soul music]

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

- ♪ AH

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